A LOVE LETTER TO NICK LAPING … ” A Man for Others “

WRITTEN on Dec 1st, 2009 …Nick’s birthday, after his passing. Other than my father and Uncle John, founder of our Manitoba Marathon and Rider Pride in the CFL, if asked whom I would pick as having the greatest impact upon my life and the formation of this young and poor boy… into manhood and thru out my life….it is  NICK! And here is PROOF of that~ Love and miss you Nick~  I know you are watching over me~

Dear Nick,

It’s 3am and I have had trouble sleeping! Have been thinking about you sooo much these past few weeks, especially after OUR Crusaders winning the High School football championships!! Just wanted to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY! And fittingly, coach….we are getting our first real snow fall…on your special day.

I know you are watching over us! We will see you again…we will see that smile…we will hear that infectious laugh…we will get our required dose of encouragement…and then walk away anew. YES…our common faith affirms that we WILL see you again….. but not just yet! ” What can I say, Nick? Saying that I miss you is just not enough! Saying that I am doing just fine …well, I am –and though I DO believe that you still ‘follow me’…. It was so much easier to simply know that you were just a call away…just an email away…and that your door, your ears, your heart…were always open to me! I miss that, coach! I always called you ..to share not only my joys but my pains as well! And when grand child #8, little SETH was just born at 3:12am Nov 21st, for a split second I thought about calling you! Guess old habits die hard.

How about a  walk down memory lane, Coach?

—-Do you remember buying me my very first pair of  football cleats? Pair of size 10 Rydell’s? You and George Dawson took me to the Red Top Inn Restaurant on St Mary’s Road and you gave me the new cleats, George gave me a new jersey with a big C on it, and the owner, John Scouras, put a huge plate of fries and a burger in front of me, saying ” That’s from me, son! “. And I remember taking my sons to the Red Top years later just to see John Scouras.

—-Do you remember the first time you called me BIG JOHN at football practice? At only 160 pounds, I suddenly felt 190!!

—-Do you remember asking me in grade 11 to be captain? Do you remember just how proud I was?

—-Do you remember going to bat for me…to be able to play football….after cutting tops of 2 fingers while during a summer landscaping job…and being at my side during three operations to re-attach them in time to begin my senior season?

—-Do you remember shedding tears with me on the bench in an empty locker room, after telling me that a league ruling was handed down stating I could not play for three games because of a concussion? Remember telling me that I was still the leader of the team? That there was only one JOHN ROBERTSON! That I was special? That the team needed me…That the school needed me. That GOD had great plans for me.

—-Do you remember, that after coming to my rescue so many times, that I stole the podium from you at the pep rally when you walked up to the lecturn, pulled your speech out of the inside pocket of your dress jacket and after saying a sentence or two, you were too emotional to continue so I ‘took’ the hand off as Captain….and started my pep talk early!

—-Do you remember when I asked you about the 100% mark that you gave me in my final grade 12 History exam? I asked if I really deserved that mark or was it because of our friendship. You said you would have given me 110% if you could have!!

—-Do you remember when you asked me to leave your class and report to the principal’s office on Dec 5th? I did not know why. But you winked and smiled while I was walking out! Arriving (nervously) in Fr Monaghan’s office…he asked me to sit down and then he said the following! “Congratulations, John…you have won the Harry Hood Memorial Award! And please do not be offended by what I am going to say. You are our school president, on Honor Roll, Captain of the crusaders, our first ever Hood Award winner and the press want to meet with you and your family and you are also going to be on TV and in the newspapers. I want you to take this permission card and go with Father Joseph and buy some clothes at The Hudson’s Bay downtown store! We are very proud of you, John. “

I have carried this thrice laminated card within my wallet to never forget the caring ways and love that was shown to me, by St Pauls High, and all whom I was fortunate to have within my life. They not only gave me the best of a Jesuit education and Paulinian formation ( men for others) but they clothed me. How can I ever forget that? And why would I  want to?

***With 16 kids at home, mom and dad did their very best to clothe us and I never felt less than any other boy. But when I walked into the principal’s office that day, I had elastics holding up my socks, patches on my dress pants (knees) and also on my sports jacket (elbows). And my tie kept the collar of my shirt together having no button to do it up!  I never ever had a suit. GOD surely had plans for this ‘poor but blessed’ boy. Both the Winnipeg Tribune and Free Press visited our home to take pictures of our family! And current and former Blue Bomber CFL players also visited to ‘sit and share’ stories about Harry Hood, the tremendous athlete, coach, and ‘ Man for Others!’ who died far too young…at age 33, from cancer. And that very same week, I appeared on two TV shows, one sitting next to the Guess Who’s Chad Allen! NICK: All memories courtesy of you!! (and St Paul’s). Just to see the smiles of Mom and Dad, and my brothers and sisters meant so much! May not have had much, but we had OUR family and though others may have considered us to be poor we did not.

  Winnipeg Tribune Picture of Family

—- You never judged me, Nick, when I chose to turn down my scholarships and become a father at 18 instead of pursuing my dream of pro football~ And when I became a single father at 20, raising two diapered boys, you said you were so proud of me. I really don’t know if I could have become the man I am today, without you in my life, Nick.

—-And do you remember all those community committee and city council meetings that we went through during our Canford Sports Centre relocation saga? How many times I wanted to walk away? And how many times you inspired me to keep on going? YOU BELIEVED IN ME AND MY VISION, NICK~

—-Do you remember how you were there for me…my family…every time Colleen took another turn for the worse? Through four trips to London, Ontario and through those 16 years of her sickness, you helped me through the most difficult of times.

—-And do you remember that I asked you the following question on Jan 14th, (a very special day to me) just before giving a talk to the 700 students, staff & admin at St Paul’s? Just weeks before GOD took you home!

I  said… “Nick, how come you are soooo good looking?  You could have been in the movies but you chose to hang with us.” I could go on and on, coach. I am speaking at more and more schools and yup—I always mention you when I get the chance. Just can’t help it! Simply put, you know I miss you…as do all the others.

And though I no longer see you in the hallways of St Paul’s…or on the sidelines…I DO thank you for giving us…and especially me…the ‘gift of your son’, Jeff, good and caring teacher, coach, father and man for others just like you! His presence at the school has continued to ‘ease the pain’ of your loss. I know you are watching him. And I watch him all the time each & every visit I make to St Pauls or Paulinian game away. He is something special! I can only imagine what Jeff has gone through and continues to go through, while teaching, while cheering, while coaching, while encouraging, at the same school that you did. Jeff is continuing YOUR Paulinian legacy, and when I watch him with his boys, I envision you, with yours. And with your girls! Your grandkids WILL be well cared for, Nick!

And somehow I know you played a part in St Paul’s winning both of the Top Divisions in football on Friday the 13th! Stacey, CRU coach, had invited me to speak to the team before the Churchill semi-final right at mid-field! I told them that I was not going to pray to GOD for them to win (cuz GOD is on every team)…but that they play to their potential. I also told them that I was never able to give ‘Nick Laping’ a victory over Churchill in the three years that I played for you. I asked that they carry all the alumni (that never did win) over the goal line, and in so doing….they would earn the right to live to play under the ‘FRIDAY NIGHT LITES” and to avenge the loss to Oak Park Raiders in the previous Championship. WELL, coach! The Crusaders did you proud! It may just be the best high school final ever played, with the CRU rallying from 11 points down with under four minutes left…to win 52-49…but you already know that!

Dec 1st…your birthday… has come too fast, Nick. And if I am thinking of you and missing you, I can’t even fathom what your lovely Bev, and Nicole, Suzie, and Mike, and Jeff, and grand kids are going through  spending the very first day of December…ever, ..without you! Rest assured, there are countless others that are also thinking of you, and not only on your special birth day, coach. I bet they do so on many…many other days too!

I love and miss you, Nick! And yes…as always, I will continue to ask of myself …whenever necessary:  What would Nick want me to do in this situation?  It has never failed me before~why should it now? I am who I am because of what you saw within me, coach, and gave of your self, gave of your heart …to be a man for others” ….and challenge those men…to strive to do the same.”

SICUT MILES CHRISTI! … Latin for As a Soldier of Christ! (another Paulinian challenge). That’s what we strive to be, Nick. You have set the standard by which we will do our very best to follow. And one more thing, Nick. When thinking of you, I often picture you as a gardener! GOD planted the seeds using YOUR hands, and without proper care, without the tilling of the soil or providing exactly what is needed, ‘in good or bad conditions’ (weather mirroring life!), that garden would NOT bear beautiful flowers, nor fruit! And you never …ever, gave up on that garden, Nick! The countless hours, days, over the many years that you spent ‘weeding’ that garden, a hell of a lot of weeding—has paid off. It’s a beautiful garden, Nick! And having passed on the tools to all of us, …that garden will only get bigger and bigger and will serve so many more!

Thanks Coach, Thanks Second Dad!! Thanks CRUSADER!”

And knowing that I am not far behind you, Nick…none of us are—-I will not waste a day, nor even a minute in being all that I can be and in doing all that I can….”in the service of others!” And thank you coach for telling me not to give up on my mission. There are no time limits on dreams, Nick. I will not let you down. Looking forward to HEAVEN..to being with you once again, and many many others….to ‘playing FOREVER’, but not just YET.

GOD BLESS AND KEEP YOU CLOSE, COACH! KEEP GUIDING US. KEEP GUIDING ME. YOU TOLD ME TO NEVER GIVE UP. I AM NOT. AND IN KEEPING WITH THE ‘HOPE AND ENCOURAGEMENT’ YOU ALWAYS GAVE ME AND CHALLENGING ME TO FIGHT THE GOOD FIGHT, FINISH THE RACE, AND SERVE OTHERS…I SAY:   “I CAN!  I WILL!  WATCH ME~”

IT’S TIME!

I love you, NICK~

John Robertson
Forever a proud Crusader…